No two people are the same. No two marriages are the same. And no two divorces are the same either.
While the laws, rules, and procedures that govern Colorado divorces may apply equally to everyone, how each divorce proceeds – whether it is relatively amicable or full of conflict, whether it is resolved in a matter of weeks or a matter of years, whether it is concluded with a negotiated settlement or a full trial – can vary wildly.
Factors That Affect Your Divorce
Every divorce is as different as the individuals involved. There are a number of factors which impact how a divorce in Colorado will proceed, many of which predate even the thought of getting a divorce. These include:
Some people are easygoing and some folks are more uptight. Some people see everything as an opportunity to “win” while others are more inclined to seek consensus and agreement. The personalities of each spouse will play a big role in how a divorce will proceed. If one spouse has a tendency to be defensive and take everything personally – and divorce is as personal as it gets – that is going to impact whether every issue, no matter how trivial, becomes a major battle.
Attitude about divorce
The reasons people get divorced can be decades in the making or can happen with a sudden discovery of infidelity or other conduct that makes the marriage unsustainable. If divorce is a mutual decision that comes after thoughtful albeit painful discussions, the odds are higher that the couple will work through the issues in the divorce in a similar way. If, however, the divorce is the result of some kind of betrayal, or if it comes like an unwanted bolt out of the blue to one of the parties, antagonism, hurt, and anger may make things much more difficult.
If you think back to break-ups you may have gone through when you were younger, dividing up a CD collection, returning some clothes and personal items, and maybe deciding who gets what piece of furniture were the biggest property division issues you had to face. But after years or decades of marriage, things can become much more complicated. Finances and property become central issues in almost every divorce, and how complex and entangled they are will have a huge impact how a divorce proceeds. The martial home, pensions, IRAs and Social Security benefits, a family business, whether one spouse makes a lot more money than the other – all of this impacts spousal maintenance, child support, and the division of marital assets. The larger and more complicated a couple’s marital estate is, the more likely it is that there will also be complicated issues.
Raising children is hard even for the happiest and most in-sync parents. But the emotional and practical challenges of being a parent can multiply exponentially during and after a divorce. Many parents can rise above their personal differences and focus on the best interests of their children, while others will wind up using their kids as pawns in an emotional tug-of-war.
One of the biggest choices each spouse will make as part of their divorce is their choice of divorce attorneys. The skills, competence, attitude, and approaches of each lawyer will play a big role in how the matter proceeds. Will they act professionally and civilly or will they take a scorched earth approach? Does the lawyer have a full understanding of not only the law but of his or her client’s needs and concerns? Good divorce lawyers will protect their clients’ interests, of course, but they should also try to find ways to manage the divorce process efficiently and thoroughly, trying to reach fair and equitable agreements whenever possible.
What will your divorce be like?