Filing For Divorce: What To Tell Friends And Family

After filing for divorce, at some point your friends and family will be asking where your spouse has gone. Here are 5 tips on how to handle the conversation.

It’s Your Divorce. Make It Your Story.

Filing for divorce in Colorado Springs may be about the marriage between two spouses, but they aren’t the only people impacted by the split. The relationships couples develop with family members and friends over the years can also come under strain, especially early on in the divorce process. If you are filing for divorce, there will come a time when you will want or need to inform the people you know and care about that you and your spouse are separating. But what to say, who to say it to, and how to respond to uncomfortable questions or comments can be tricky.

You Control What You Share With Others About Filing For Divorce

As a preliminary matter, understand that you have a great deal of control over how much information you provide to others. You have no obligation to share specifics with other people, or even to tell them at all, if you so choose. Also, recognize that all of your relationships are unique. What you say to your siblings or close friends may be more detailed or nuanced than what you share with a co-worker. By controlling the narrative, you can help others see the divorce as you do.

Accept That You Can’t Control How Others React

While you may be in charge of how, when, and what you tell friends and family, you can’t control how they react. In a perfect world, everyone you tell would be understanding, supportive, and free from judgment. But it isn’t a perfect world. Some people may respond with disbelief and disappointment. Others may seemingly judge you harshly or question the wisdom of what you are doing. People might try to convince you to change your mind or say inappropriate or thoughtless things.

You already have a lot of emotions to deal with when filing for a divorce. You don’t need the extra burden of others piling on. Steel yourself for such reactions.

Try to Reach Agreement With Your Spouse As To What To Say And To Whom

You and your spouse may not be on the same page about your marriage, but it is helpful if the two of you can reach an understanding of what the standard response is regarding the divorce. Obviously, each spouse has their own perspective on how and why the marriage is ending, and you may want to share those views with your closest confidantes. Still, agreeing in advance about what to say to most people can help avoid conflicts and confusion among friends and family who may hear conflicting messages.

To that end, also try to decide between each other who will speak with whom about the divorce.

You might like: Avoid These Big Mistakes When Getting a Divorce in Colorado

Develop a Divorce “Elevator Speech”

The term “elevator speech” usually comes up in a professional context. The expression refers to a brief description of your experience, qualities, and goals in the time the elevator takes to reach its destination. Having such a story available at a moment’s notice can keep you on message and never at a loss for words.

The same applies to telling people you are filing for divorce. Prepare a brief, matter-of-fact statement about what is happening, how you feel about the divorce, and how you are moving forward. 

Tell Friends And Family How They Can Help

Most everyone you tell about your divorce will want to know what they can do to help you through the process. Provide them with an answer based on what you want and need. That could be a shoulder to cry on, help moving into a new apartment, or advice based on their own experiences. Or, it could be nothing at all.  Regardless of whether you need help at the moment or not, express gratitude for their friendship, love, or support. 

Speak with An Experienced Colorado Springs Divorce Attorney Today

Speaking with your friends and family about filing for divorce doesn’t need to be difficult. Neither does speaking with an experienced Colorado Springs divorce attorney. When you meet with one of the attorneys at Perkins Law at your free initial consultation, we will treat you with respect, patience, and understanding. Together, we can develop an approach and strategy best-suited to your unique circumstances and goals and turn the page to a bright new chapter of your life. 

If you are considering or facing the prospect of divorce, we welcome the opportunity to assist you. Please contact us today to arrange for your free initial consultation.

Related:

Considering Divorce Soon? Here are Five Things to Do Before Filing for Divorce

Ways Divorce Cases Are Adapting to COVID-19

How Does Colorado Law Handle Debt in a Divorce? 

 

 


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